Di Hadapan

Walaupun
setia telah kusematkan
di jarimu

Aku tetap tak bisa
memilikimu dengan bangga
di hadapan dunia

Aku takkan pernah
mampu mengatakannya
di hadapan mereka


-Jakarta, 13 Oktober 2010-

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vignette on Spica

I've just downloaded a new software for my Spikey (Samsung Spica i5700).
It's called Vignette..it has Lomo effect.. horraaayy.. hehe..

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I've lived my life

I have lived my life for almost 25 years now..
Oftenly I asked myself..

"Have I done something good?"

"Have I accomplished anything that I've ever plan for?"

"Have I ever made my family or parents proud?"

or
like what Mba Dyta wrote in her FB status..

"Have I learned to be a Humanity Human?"

or even

"If I die tomorrow, can I go to Heaven for being just ME?"

When the eyes of ours are totally shutted..

When the ride we have finally stopped working (a.k.a. body)

What would happen?

What can I do next?


These are the thoughts in my head right now..
for seeing Blood, Laugh, Nature, Kids, Fakes and Tears everyday.
I played, I paused, I jogged and recorded it.


For me, for now, for all I know..
Am just a cassette or CD whom destined to be who I am..

Maybe, I was just have to play along.. and accept what has been written before I was even born..

Just try my best to be Me..

Try to do what I know best..

And with unstoppable trying to find my own true GOD again.


Amien
(is it enough now?)









 

Jakarta, 15 April 2010

(04:09am)

"Two Steps Away" by Patti LaBelle

It's hard to see the fear inside
As I walk away from you
And distance overcomes the miles
As slowly I pull through
And I cannot reach the world today
Cuz I'm suffering from you
And the more I think, the more I cry
As I walk away from you

[Chorus:]
I'm two steps away
From loneliness
I'm awake
From the mess we made
I'm alive
And I'm feeling incomplete

I don't understand my life
Or the version that chose you
And the warring hearts and winter came
Now there's nothing left to do
And I cannot reach the world today
Cuz I'm suffering from two
And the more I think, the more we die
As I walk away from you

[Chorus]

[Bridge:]
I'm two steps away
I'm two steps away
I'm two steps away
I'm two steps away

Two steps away
Two steps away
From loneliness
I'm awake
From the mess we made
I'm alive

Two steps away
Two steps away
Two steps away


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5md62id8Wxk

Bisa (lebih baik)

'Semoga keadaannya membaik'
Hanya sebaris kata itu yang mampu terucap disaatku memilih untuk merasa marah dan mengesampingkan semua rasa rindu yang ada..

Aku berusaha mengerti jalan pikiranmu.. Caramu mencintai.. Ataupun kebiasaanmu yang telah kau jalani lebih dari hidupku..

Berusaha enyahkan perbedaan dengan sindiran.. Perangai marahku dengan mengalah.. Bahkan, saling memberikan cinta yang ada tanpa harus diminta..

Hari ini aku berdiri di depan pintumu..

Tanpa mengetuk.. Tak tega membangunkanmu.. Tak lebih hinanya aku dari seorang pengecut..

Aku minta maaf.. Aku tak pantas bersanding denganmu.. Aku tak mampu menatapmu lagi..

Selamat pagi..
Jaga dirimu baik-baik..
Senang pernah berbagi hidup denganmu..


-Jakarta, 14 Februari 2010-
(02:14am)

tak mampu

tangis tanpa linangan
teriakan tanpa suara
luka tanpa lebam
rindu tanpa bayangan

mampu gambarkan semua itu
ketika kau tak disampingku
mampu rasakan itu semua
ketika tersadar, cintaku memang benar padamu

Home, 9 Februari 2010
(02:54pm)